


i feel like the morning fell, like the bottom's falling out

by notthebigspoon



Series: Jet Black Sky Is Painted White Again [1]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunter Pence: creature of habit and shepherd of sexually conflicted baby giraffes. </p><p>Title taken from Learn to Crawl by Black Lab.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i feel like the morning fell, like the bottom's falling out

Meat loaf plate. Mashed potatoes with brown gravy. Green beans. Iced tea.

Hunter is a creature of habit, a personality quirk he's developing in San Francisco. He's moved into a third floor walk up, where the rent is ridiculous but it's by the month and he won't have to pay out to break the lease if the Giants decided not to keep him. On his first day off, he'd wandered around his neighborhood taking in the sights. He found a small grocery store and a diner, two things which were pretty much going to satisfy his needs as far as he was concerned.

He'd gotten into his rental after tonight's game, mumbling a good night to Affeldt. He wasn't a bad guy at all, Hunter knew that, but they'd barely talked and he didn't know what to say to him. It'd only been by accident that they'd kind of fallen into step together. It disrupted the new routine he was trying to set for himself, which made it a relief to get back to the apartment. There, he had opened the door long enough to toss his gear bag in before locking it and jogging back down the stairs.

Three blocks east and two south to the new diner and he'd finally felt settled again. The diner was twenty four hour, convenient for the schedule that he keeps. He took a small two person booth in the back, ordered the meatloaf plate and his tea. When the waitress brings it, he beams at her and she pats him on the shoulder. He's officially a happy boy.

When the bell on the door tinkles, he looks up. He can't help himself, it's a habit, he's a people watcher. When he sees Belt, he cringes, just a little. Belt is just as awkward as himself and while they've been dubbed the Awkward Bros, he hasn't spent much time with him. He hasn't spent time with a lot of people, the more he thinks of it.

Sympathy overrules his own awkwardness though. Belt is looking around carefully and gnawing on his lip. When he sees Hunter, he jerks as though he's been shocked. His eyes are wide and he really does look like a baby giraffe in that moment, although one that's about to be taken down by a hyena. Suddenly Hunter feels incredibly sorry for him, without really knowing why.

Hunter smiles, waves just a little before pointing at the seat across from him with a questioning look. Belt nods and slinks over, folding himself into the seat. He fidgets and taps his fingers, looking around saying only 'um'. He looks grateful when the waitress appears, ordering a cheeseburger. He adds a strawberry milkshake at the last second, which strikes Hunter as adorable. He doesn't know why.

“So um...”

“Y'know, when they said you were awkward, I didn't know it was this bad.” Hunter grins. Belt blushes and it spreads all the way down his neck. Hunter's heart thumps. 

“Shut up.” He mumbles, staring at the table. Hunter pushes his plate away. He might be awkward but he's not rude, he can wait until Belt's food is here to keep eating. “So um... weird seeing you here.”

“Why? I eat. I mean, look at me. I'm a growing boy, need mah food.”

“Just... y'know... didn't expect to um. You did see the flag out front, didn't you?”

“Yeah. Rainbow. Pretty colors.” Hunter answers, smiling to himself. He knows exactly where this is going. “It's the Castro. There's kind of a lot of those around here.”

“But you're-”

“I'm what?”

“You're straight.”

“My last four boyfriends would tell you you're very very wrong.” Hunter grins, nudging him under the table. “I know, I know. There are no gay Texans. Makes me and you very inconvenient, doesn't it?”

Belt looks like he wants to protest, even goes so far as to say “I'm not-” before stopping and shaking his head. His shoulders droop and he hangs his head and the expression on his face is so utterly miserable that Hunter wants nothing more than to get up and hug him and protect him from all that is bad in the world. This is bad.

The waitress brings Belt's burger. They both eat silently for a few minutes, Belt dredging fries through ketchup and staring at them like they've run over his dog before stuffing them into his mouth. Hunter's sweeping a chunk of meat loaf through his gravy when he shakes his head, dropping his fork.

“What are you so afraid of, Belt?”

“I can't... I can't afford to be...”

“To be gay?” Hunter asks. Belt just nods, staring at his plate. “Hey... hey, kid, look at me. I know you're thinking this is some kind of curse. You're wishing you could be something different, could be anyone else because there's no room for queers in the show, right? Well that's bullshit. I don't know what you've heard, but I can guess. Because I heard the same things and I hated myself the same way.”

Belt looks up, and his eyes are bright and oh hell, no crying, please no crying. “But-”

“No buts, Belt. If you keep looking at yourself through the filter of someone else's ignorance, you're never going to be happy.”

Belt doesn't look any less miserable. Hunter puts down enough cash for both their dinners, waving off the protest. He grabs Belt's arm and gently pulls him to his feet before guiding him out of the diner with a hand on his back. Belt's shuffling along, hands in his pockets and staring at his feet. They walk in silence, Hunter keeping an eye out for for any obstacles on the sidewalk because god knows Belt wasn't in a position to do so.

Still, it only takes a little prodding before Belt is opening up. It's like opening a floodgate, really. He spills everything, about how he got the sense when he was little that something was just plain wrong because he knew was different. Hiding it and dating girls and watching the relationships fail miserably. One night with a guy his freshman year of college and knowing that he finally knew what was different and not wanting to admit that he'd finally given those feelings validation.

The undercurrent to it all was a deep sense of self loathing. Hunter shakes his head and stops Belt, turning him in and wrapping him up in a tight hug. Belt breaks then, his shoulders shaking. His face buries in Hunter's shoulder and Hunter can feel his shirt growing damp with the baby giraffe's tears. When Belt's sobbing finally stops, Hunter tips his chin up, straightening him up and offering him a small smile.

“Feel better?”

“Maybe a little.”

“S'a start.” Hunter smiles, nudging his chin with his knuckles. “You're gonna be okay. Might not be okay overnight but it gets better.”

“Okay.” Belt says. He doesn't look okay but the misery and self loathing that was present earlier is much more minimal. “I should get home.”

“Yeah, alright. But if you need anything... if you ever need to talk, for any reason, you call me, okay?” Hunter says, and it's not a suggestion, it's an order. Belt seems to recognize it as such and nods, watching Hunter scribble his number onto his forearm.

There's a cab rolling through the neighborhood and it takes one raised arm to get it to make a u turn and pull up next to them. Belt looks at the cab and then at Hunter. He looks a little lost but then.. then he's leaning in for a quick kiss, one hard press of his lips against Hunter's before he's sliding into the cab and pulling the door shut behind him.

Hunter stares after the cab, watches the tail lights as it swings around the corner. He's not really sure what just happened.


End file.
